The best of intentions

Excitement of a new love,

that electrical sense of his nearness

Seeing each other, never tiring

Talking long into the night about everything…about nothing

Hot breath on her neck, his heartbeat beneath her hand,

whispering love words in the darkness, can’t get enough of each other.

Starting their life, later than most, dreaming of their shining future.

Then…unfortunate diagnosis,

long months of denial, anger.

Worsening pain…crippling,

sending a too-young body into decay.

Fighting each day to stay working, to stay normal,

body betraying him and every turn.

The label of DISABLED is too final.

“Come play with me, Daddy” answered with a disheartening,

“I can’t right now, buddy.  Daddy hurts.”

Kills to hear it as much as it does to say it.

But the fight becomes futile,

reluctant acceptance of the inevitable.

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

Multiple doctor, hospitals, opinions

More treatments, trying…waiting

Bottles of pills, line the bathroom counter

Hatred and resentment in each one.

Fear of the outcome, with drugs…or without.

Is the “help” helping…or hurting?

With each passing year of this decade, destruction, of a body and a marriage.

Holding hands in the night is all that is left of their passion.

With each disappointing setback, frustration of a desire denied.

Like remembering a long-lost love that you cannot reclaim,

but are reminded of daily, feeling cheated.

No one understands the dulling side effects of this disease,

the dream ducks behind the clouds of reality.

Trifecta: Week Twenty-Nine   Decay: to fall into ruin

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About KimB

I am a mommy to 3 wild and wonderful boys, wife to my husband. I am a stay-at-home mommy, who would like to work if the perfect job came along. Trying to find a way to make money from home so we can have more of the "wants" not just the "needs". We live in the sort of-country and have a pretty big garden, but no animals, except one small, dark, and furry dacshund.
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6 Responses to The best of intentions

  1. jannatwrites says:

    This is so sad. My husband had some health issues a few years ago, and I can relate to some of the emotions. I hope this piece is a work of fiction for you 🙂

  2. Diane Turner says:

    How many families are going through this year after year. Excellent writing, sad, poignant, and, like Janna, I’m hoping you made it up.

  3. This is really well done – The hope and the promise and then the frustration. The part about holding hands being all that’s left of their passion is really a powerful image.

  4. Annabelle says:

    How terrible. You conveyed the pain all too well.

  5. Well written. This sounds like a very difficult thing to deal with.

  6. Hi. Sorry this is so late — I was having technical problems! This is beautiful. I love the emotion you’ve packed into this. Thanks so much for linking up.

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