Grandma came to visit.
This would be my mother.
The baseball game and JCPenney-coupon-using mother/Grandma.
We have a somewhat typical mother-daughter love-hate relationship. When it’s good, it’s pretty good, but when it bad….I am of the opinion that she tries too much to force her parenting beliefs on me. She thinks I do nothing for my boys. “You-should-be-doing-this” or “you-should-be-doing-that” and “why-don’t-you-ever-do-this?” which then brings out my “WTF, quit telling me what to do” and my “Why? You never did that
shit stuff with me”. For example, sports. As the boys get old enough and they show interest in it, they get put in baseball. My oldest loved it, until the teammates started pitching to each other. A couple of zingers pitched into his arm and thigh and he was done. Well, actually, a season of watching him stand at home plate, too scared to even swing at the ball and I was done. It had to be embarrassing for him and the crowd was beginning to turn. I figured he would find his thing at some point. I told my mother we weren’t signing him up for the following season and she had a fit. Why were we “doing that” to him and he “needs” to be in something…oh yeah, like I was? I was never in any sport, extra curricular activity or anything. I remember wanting to do gymnastics, like my cousin, sooooo bad. Nope, wasn’t even an option. I wanted to do cheerleading, but no. My mother was a cheerleader, you would think she would’ve been all over that. But no. Wait…I did get to be in band. But when I dropped it there was no trying to guilt me to stay in because I “needed” something. All I got was a “Oh good, now we don’t have to sit through those concerts anymore.” Nice.
So, anyway, what was I talking about? Oh yes, Grandma’s visit. She brought food – yum – and after we ate it, she wanted to take the boys on a walk. Sounds innocent enough, right? Let me lay it out for you…we live on a dead-end road, near a bunch of campgrounds and a lake. You can’t see the lake from our house because of the trees between it and us. You can hear the boats in the summertime, but as far as the little boys know, it’s nowhere near us. And I’d like to keep it that way. You know, for safety reasons.
Boys + curiosity + lake = 😦
Forty minutes go by, my husband, bless his paranoid heart, is almost in a panic. Now remember, we live on a dead-end road. They haven’t gone back by the house. He says, “You don’t think she took them off the road and onto the trail that leads to the lake?” I, laughingly say, “No way, she never has before. Why would she show them how to get to the lake? That’s stupid, honey.” Have you ever felt, as their coming out, you’re going to be eating those words, shortly? A few minutes later, just as I’m about to round-up a posse, here they come. Sweaty, one of them bleeding from a cut on this leg, the other shouting, “Guess what? We saw the ocean!” Yes, my
stupid naive sheltered children thought they had seen the ocean. Not only that, they thought their parents had been hiding it from them for their whole lives! Thanks goodness, Grandma is around to reveal such wonders to them, ’cause their crappy mother certainly isn’t going to – insert sarcasm here. I said, under my breath, “Way to go, Grandma. Now they know just how to get to the lake.” She in turn, defends it by saying, “Oh, it was sooo beautiful. They need to see things like that. You should’ve gone on the walk with them.” I heard, “Whatever. I can do what I want. Doesn’t matter what you say. And, you are lazy.” Tongue hurts…biting so hard. I cleaned up the bleeding boo-boo – she doesn’t know how that happened – wiped up the sweat – she didn’t know the lake/ocean was that far – and handed out cold drinks. The bleeder, my youngest, couldn’t get his drink fast enough. I joked with him, saying that he couldn’t be all that thirsty, could he? He looks at me, like I’m stupid, and says, “Yes…we was walking in the desert!” Yes, my silly baby thought the little beach, near the ocean, was the desert. Well, of course it was.
That lady drives me crazy like no other….. but I do love you, mom. Could ya just ease up a little?